Is It Helpful To Have Emotions? Or Not?
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Did you know that we have more negative emotions than positive emotions!
There are 7 discrete primary emotion of which only 2 are positive and yet we make the assumption that we must always experience positive emotions!!!!
Happiness
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Disgust
Interest
Shame
As emotions are essential for survival even the negative ones have positive action tendencies designed to protect!
As emotions are essential for survival even the negative ones have positive action tendencies designed to protect!
EMOTION
Anger
Negative action tendency :Triggered by sense of perceived violation. Mobilises fight response in defence of one’s boundaries
Positive action tendency: Empowerment and assertiveness
Sadness
Negative action tendency: Experienced at loss. Mobilises reparative grief that can be manifested as withdrawal or seeking comfort to conserve one’s energy
Positive action Tendency: Adaptive grieving
Fear
Negative action tendency: Experienced when there is perceived danger. Mobilises the fight, flight or freeze response
Positive action tendency: Adaptive escape
Disgust
Negative action tendency: Triggered by a noxious experience and aids evacuation or withdrawal from noxious stimuli
Positive action tendency: Expel or withdraw
Shame
Negative action tendency: Organises one to hide or withdraw from the scrutiny of others
Positive actuation tendency: Antidote to shame is compassion for self and adaptive anger
Joy
Negative action tendency: Mobilises satisfaction, creativity and happiness
Positive action tendency: Feels good
Surprise
Negative action tendency: Stimulates curiosity and enjoyment
Positive action tendency: Facilitates openness to further exploration
Emotions are adaptive but sometimes they are not! Emotions can also go wrong. Sometimes like when we worry ourselves sick, explode with provocation, or fear abandonment emotions are probably being more maladaptive than adaptive. We often regret the intensity of emotional experience, the emotion experienced or the way we express it.
Maladaptive emotions develop for a variety of reasons. Most often they are learned in situations that evoke an innate emotional reaction, such as anger at violation, fear at threat, or sadness at loss.
The degree to which maladaptive emotions become disorganising and more effortful to change depends on how early it was experienced, how frequently it was experienced, how intensely it was experienced and the situations in which they occured.
Intense frequent feelings of neglect, rejection, or domination in the past can be activated by current situations with similar themes or storylines. Inattentiveness from a partner can activate intense feelings of neglect from a loveless childhood. These feelings can become maladaptive in the present situation.
Emotional responses are open to learning and input; this makes them not only a flexible adaptive system, but also open to the possibility of becoming maladaptive. However, what is learned can be unlearned or new things can be learned and therein lies the hope!
THE SKILLS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
- Making sense of emotions
- Expressing emotions
- Regulating emotions
- Understanding and validating other’s emotions (Empathy) - Making sense of the past, present and working towards choosing a future
There is a beautiful piece of poetry by Rumi - The Guest House that sums up emotional an ideal relationship with out emotions :)
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jellaludin Rumi,
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